It’s Okay, part 7

These “It’s Okay” installments are all about me helping you feeling good about your life by reassuring you that it’s gonna be okay.  (Translation: These “It’s Okay” installments are all about helping you justify your life by enabling you.)

ItsOkay...

…If you pretty much wash your bras once every never.

…If you spend a shit ton of money on groceries, then decide to eat out instead (while your expensive groceries slowly die in the fridge).

…If you count cheese and ice cream as sensible, calcium-packed snacks.

…If you use those sassy little flossers instead of using real grown-up floss.

…If you call flossers “sassy.”

…If you eat with chopsticks whenever possible because they make things taste better.

…If you go commando a whole lot because no underwear equals less laundry.

…If you think vitamins are a hoax because damn those things are freakin’ expensive.

…If you will never ever get on board with the chickpeas in cookies things.  CHICKPEAS DON’T TASTE LIKE COOKIE DOUGH GET OVER IT.

…If you bitch your way through an entire workout.  Whatever gets you through it, you know?

…If you don’t own an iron.

…If 401ks still confuse you.

…If you can’t tell when wine tastes oaky or woodsy or raspberry-y or nutty or like a nice cold shot of vodka.   Oh, wait.  That’s vodka I’m thinking of.

…If you think half the fun of a vacation is planning it.

…If you’ll never ever get over the How I Met Your Mother finale, because that shit was depressing and traumatizing.

…If you think tofu tastes like rubber/mush/an eggy mess.  Barforoni Rex.

…If you ever say “Barforoni Rex.” (<< Actually, this isn’t okay and you should probably stop saying it.)

…If you boycott phone updates.  iPhone shouldn’t dictate your life, no matter how bad it wants to.  Siri needs to get off your jock and get her own life.  Stop letting her control yours.

…If you adopt a general DGAF attitude, because we should all care a little less about what other people think.

It’s Okay 1.  It’s Okay 2.  It’s Okay 3.  It’s Okay 4.  It’s Okay 5.  It’s Okay 6.

IN THE COMMENTS:

Finish this sentence: “It’s okay if…” 

Comments

  1. I definitely subsribe to like… 85 to, er, 100% of these. I have no issues with chickpea masquerading as cookie dough, but the idea of black-beans as a brownie has caused me doubts O.o

    • I haven’t tried the black bean brownie thing but I have tried a brownie made with avocado instead of butter. It was pretty good! But yeah, black beans? No.

  2. …….I predominantly count cheese as my calcium source.

    And YES. Chickpeas in cookies? Chickpeas in general? urgh. preggo man syndrome.

    It’s okay if you actually know what the 401k is even though your not American.

    • I love you for your cheese consumption (and not for much else…). OMG KIDDING TWERK TWIN STOP CRYING PLEASE!

      Ugh but please stop making me feel shitty about not knowing about 401ks. BRB gonna go Google it.

      Back. Still don’t get it.

  3. 401k. I’m SO confused.
    And I think I have 3 updates on my phone to make – it will probably die in a second!
    It’s ok to eat Kinder Eggs daily because I freaking want the toy.

    • Yeah, SO confusing. Don’t update your phone! The updates always suck.

      I’ve never had a Kinder Egg but I WANT ONE. Send them my way if you get tired of eating them.

  4. It’s okay if you offer to make the cake for someone’s birthday primarily so that you can make your own favourite cake. And it’s also okay if you end up eating more of it than aforementioned birthday person ;)

    • I guess even if you can’t “have your cake and eat it too” you can in fact “have somebody else’s cake and eat it too” ;).

  5. imagypsylady says:

    I’m with you on the updates! So annoyed/annoying but now my phone tells me it has no room for anything no photos nothing! I just deleted 600 and am down to 100 and still no room! Crap phone I bought in September and I’m stuck with for like eternity

  6. ….you mean most people don’t consider ice cream and cream cheese sensible snacks? Damn.

  7. …Eat 1/2 the batter before you bake the brownies. That’s the best part!

  8. It’s ok if you go through an entire jar of peanut butter in a week.

  9. Yes to the undies (we all know my feelings on those…), chickpeas/beans in general in baked goods (gag me with a spoon), and the whole washing of the bra thing… I always forget about it!

  10. I love these posts! They are so true, but hilarious! Washing bras sometimes never…guilty. Vitamins? Seriously, they cannot be that important because if they were, they’d be handing them out for free, right? Yeah, probably not…

  11. I love this hahaa! You are too fabulous you know! It’s okay if you have never had tofu even though it appears that the rest of the world has ;)

  12. If it makes you feel any better…I OWN an iron but I am too lazy to use it so I just don’t wear my shirts that are wrinkled ;)

    • carlyjg says:

      Hahahahahaha, at least I can use the “I don’t have an iron” excuse ;). And yes, it does make me feel better.

  13. To make you feel better, there has never been a study that remotely suggests that vitamins make you healthier in any aspect. :)

    Also, fun story: there’s a kid I know who just got back to school after a 3-week hiatus because what started off as strep turned into a full-body infection and he was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. That in and of itself is unfortunate, but the good part is that he lost 20 pounds and his doctor ordered him to eat 1 pint of Ben and Jerry’s PER DAY to gain it back as quickly as possible.

    • carlyjg says:

      WHAT?! Where can I get this infection?! Just kidding… I hope he was okay… But really, that’s like the best medicine ever.

  14. I love these instalments. So fun.
    Oh god, I was just thinking about the last time I washed my bra…um, still thinking.
    Major agree that chickpeas do not equal cookie dough. Ever. It legit tastes like chickpeas with some sweetness. I’m not even sure why I ever tried one of those recipes…just no.
    Wine always confuses me. I can never tell bad from good. Which is why I stick with my trusty friend vodka.

    • Hahaha, I honestly can’t even remember.

      And YES! The chickpea cookie dough literally tastes like sweet hummus. Either eat some hummus, or eat some cookie dough, you know?

      One day we’ll get together and enjoy some wine booze.

  15. I still don’t know what a 401k is. Signs I’M not ready to be an adult. Full disclosure: ice cream and cheese are the ONLY ways I get my calcium in and I’m not the least bit ashamed of that. Love these posts. I feel more… Normal?

    • Nope, def not ready to be an adult. I’m terrified.

      Cheese + ice cream = necessary for a healthy diet.

  16. I’m cool with chickpeas in cakes because that makes it ok that I eat the whole cake in one sitting, right? And peanut butter in a week, Jackie? I envy your self control! Try 3 jars a week, yes, all different flavors. Currently I have sunbutter, chocolate PB, Cinnamon raisin, and maple PB. Oh wait, no more cinnamon raisin :\
    No idea what the 401 k is, I’m also self employed so I don’t think I have one. Oh well, I don’t plan to get old and retire. That’s ok too.
    I don’t believe the vitamin thing either, but it’s ok that I bought the kiddie gummy vitamins because I just love gummy bears.
    I think my phone has multiple updates that I’ve ignored. I’m also getting really annoyed by the update popups in the top corner of my laptop screen.
    Wine and chocolate= healthy antioxidants, ALWAYS.
    And it was ok to comment on this even though now I have to get back to packing for a business trip!
    <3 your posts!

    • Hahahahahaha, I loooove cinnamon raisin PB, and I would totally go through it quickly if I had some right now.

      Yep, wine + chocolate = antioxidants, and antioxidants = necessary for life, therefore wine + chocolate = necessary for life.

      Have fun on your business trip!

  17. You are so funny…. HIMYM finale… Terrible! And ditto on the bra washing

  18. best enabler around <3
    ily.

  19. Yes, yes, yessssssssssss. Love all of these. :)

  20. I refuse to update my iPhone and I have spent the last week completely dwelling over the HIMYM finale. I will never get over it, it was the werrrst.

    • Seriously the worst. Can we get together and mope about it? I’ll meet you at MacLaren’s in an hour ;).

  21. pretty sure I wash my bras… never. oops.

  22. From one enabler to another – I love it!!

    And everyone knows you don’t need to wear underwear with yoga pants. Running pants? Totally different story. *ahem*

    I totally update my phone every time. I cannot stand to see that damn icon. However, I’ve never once used Siri. No joke.

    • Hahahaha I feel like there’s a running pants/underwear story here somewhere…And I want to see it.

      Ugh, eff Siri. She drives me crazy. She just doesn’t understand me (<< literally).

  23. I always love these posts.

  24. I BAWLED at the HIMYM finale. Sure, the subject matter his a little too close to home for me, but I still think I would have cried anyway. Worst thing I ever watched.

  25. I totally just ate some cheese and ice cream…

  26. Corollary to chickpeas in cookies: dates do not taste like chocolate. They are not fudge, nor are they “fudge.”

    It’s okay to make another cup of coffee just because you haven’t finished reading all of the new blog posts on your reader yet.

    • AMEN! It may look somewhat like chocolate, but date “truffles” aren’t truffles, they’re dried fruit balls.

  27. Sanil B says:

    Hi just leaving some blog love, Barforoni Rex!!

  28. Wait a minute. Hold the phone. Are you implying cheese and ice cream are not sensible, calcium-packed snacks. Well if that’s the case, then I’m not listening…fingers in my ears, la, la, la, la, not listening, la, la.

    It’s okay if you tell your new houseguest that he can stay until the 29th of April, but secretly don’t mean it. Hello? That’s a long time for a visit, especially when a certain someone values her private time. It’s also okay if you tell said houseguest you are taking a bath if only so you can escape to your bedroom for an hour.

  29. I love my sassy flosser. Regular floss is for lame people. Lame people like my husband.
    JK honey, love you!

    It’s okay if you go to Specialties and order a salad and a cookie, when all you really want is the cookie and you order the salad so people think, “oh, she’s just getting lunch” instead of, “she’s eating a cookie for lunch?” Yes, yes I am. And it’s none of your business hence my salad disguise. But I suppose we all know what’s going on here.

  30. How have I never heard barfaroni rex? it’s kind of grossing me out though…

  31. I love these!!! HA, I own an iron but NEVER use it!!! If a shirt is wrinkled, it goes back in the dryer for a fluff!! And vitamins, WAAAAY over-rated, and WAAAAY overpriced! Have to admit I do love baking with chickpeas though…but I will admit they are no real comparison to cookie dough!! :)

  32. Omg, YES to the ALLLLLL! Well, except the chickpea cookie (or dessert hummus) thing…sorry, sis, it’s no Toll House, but that shit’s still good! And it’s healthy…so that means I can eat the entire freaking batch, right? Riiiiiiight! Shit when IS the last time I washed my bras?! 8O

    It’s ok to skip the shower after the gym today…I mean, you didn’t get TOO sweaty and you can just spritz and extra bit of body spray under your arms and call it all good! ;)

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