These “It’s Okay” installments are all about me helping you feeling good about your life by reassuring you that it’s gonna be okay. (Translation: These “It’s Okay” installments are all about helping you justify your life by enabling you.)
…If you pretty much wash your bras once every never.
…If you spend a shit ton of money on groceries, then decide to eat out instead (while your expensive groceries slowly die in the fridge).
…If you count cheese and ice cream as sensible, calcium-packed snacks.
…If you use those sassy little flossers instead of using real grown-up floss.
…If you call flossers “sassy.”
…If you eat with chopsticks whenever possible because they make things taste better.
…If you go commando a whole lot because no underwear equals less laundry.
…If you think vitamins are a hoax because damn those things are freakin’ expensive.
…If you will never ever get on board with the chickpeas in cookies things. CHICKPEAS DON’T TASTE LIKE COOKIE DOUGH GET OVER IT.
…If you bitch your way through an entire workout. Whatever gets you through it, you know?
…If you don’t own an iron.
…If 401ks still confuse you.
…If you can’t tell when wine tastes oaky or woodsy or raspberry-y or nutty or like a nice cold shot of vodka. Oh, wait. That’s vodka I’m thinking of.
…If you think half the fun of a vacation is planning it.
…If you’ll never ever get over the How I Met Your Mother finale, because that shit was depressing and traumatizing.
…If you think tofu tastes like rubber/mush/an eggy mess. Barforoni Rex.
…If you ever say “Barforoni Rex.” (<< Actually, this isn’t okay and you should probably stop saying it.)
…If you boycott phone updates. iPhone shouldn’t dictate your life, no matter how bad it wants to. Siri needs to get off your jock and get her own life. Stop letting her control yours.
…If you adopt a general DGAF attitude, because we should all care a little less about what other people think.
IN THE COMMENTS:
Finish this sentence: “It’s okay if…”