I’ve been putting off this post for a while now for a few reasons.

1. I’ve had so many papers to write for school that writing an information-heavy blog post just didn’t seem fun or interesting.  I’m the kind of person who lives for the “fluff” so most of my posts are fun and light.

2. I couldn’t figure out the best way to structure this post.  I still haven’t figured it out, so I’m just diving in headfirst.

3. It’s kind of uncomfortable for me.  I have a hard time not meeting goals that I set for myself, and I often feel as though I need to justify these reasons to myself and to others.

Let’s just jump right in with Valentine’s Day.  That was the day that my sugar-free challenge really started to get hard.  So, from V-Day to our anniversary on the 20^th, I ate and ate and ate carb-y foods as a way to compensate for the cravings that I wasn’t satisfying.  However, starting on the 21^st, a Thursday, I recommitted myself.  That didn’t last long.  Both Saturday and Sunday this weekend were spent eating all of the sugary goods I had deprived myself of.  However, this wasn’t a case of eating a couple cookies or a piece of cake.  I definitely ate to the point of being uncomfortable.

After the fact, I often question why I do this.  I know that food doesn’t taste as good when I’m already completely stuffed. I know that I will wake up feeling junky.  I know that I won’t be productive because of massive food coma-age.  So why?  Well, there are multiple reasons.  I can think of two major ones in particular:

1. Making up for deprivation of my sugar cravings

2. I haven’t been eating enough calories

Now the questions becomes, How do I combat these things? 

Let’s start with #1.  I am no longer restricting any part of my diet.  Although I’m so happy that I completed all of that time with no added sugar and I didn’t feel restricted for the vast majority of the challenge, I had hit my limit.  Now, nothing is off limits.  I need to remind myself that sugar will still be on the Earth tomorrow; I don’t need to eat as much as possible right this very moment.

Okay, onto #2.  I’ve always had a “go big or go home” mentality.  I’ve made a lot of progress in improving these kinds of thoughts, but my “good” days are still really good and my “bad” days are still really bad.  I sometimes feel like I need to make up for a day of overeating by eating fewer calories.  Now, I never go below 1300 or 1400, but, for me, this number is proving to be too low.  I think my optimal zone for weight loss is between 1500 and 1700 calories per day, on the days that I exercise.  This kind of brings me to my next topic.  I stopped using Weight Watchers and started using My Fitness Pal a couple of weeks ago.  The major reason?  Price.  MFP is free, WW is not.  Also, I like being able to see my macronutrient breakdowns, especially the protein.  So far, I’ve been very pleased with it.  It has a huge database and is very user-friendly.  There are pros and cons to each program, and I’d highly recommend both, but MFP is better for me at this point in my life (read: this money-less point of my life).

Another reason I like MFP is the fact that you weigh-in on your own terms.  Weight Watchers had one weigh-in day per week, which could get frustrating if water weight or bloat added to that number.  Want to know why I like being able to weigh-in whenever I want?

Because I’ve ditched the scale.  Yep, the scale is gone.

Okay, it’s not actually gone.  It’s sitting in my closet.  But from now through March, I’m planning to stay off of the scale.  I don’t want to be discouraged by any gains and I want to focus solely on how fabulous I feel when I’m eating healthy and exercising.  My weight is just a number, and I won’t let it influence my mood or my outlook on a day.  I want my moods to be based on how good I feel on the inside.  Yes, this is totally 100% cliché.  Yes, I hate even writing out those words because they sound so freakin’ lame.  But they’re true!

So, my dear friends, that’s where I’m at with this whole weight loss journey.  Thoughts? Suggestions? Motivation?  Please, leave me a comment!

And now I’m back to my night of writing about dual-energy x-ray absorptiometry and time sampling observations with predetermined codes.  Jealous?