Pictures only. Trust me: it’s for the best (<< finals week ahh).
IN THE COMMENTS:
Have you done anything to get into the holiday spirit?
Fave Indian food dish?
Do you color your hair at home?
Pictures only. Trust me: it’s for the best (<< finals week ahh).
Have you done anything to get into the holiday spirit?
Fave Indian food dish?
Do you color your hair at home?
Behold: The 10 most bizarre/embarrassing/ridiculous/dumb photos that are still housed in da iPhone. I should probably delete them.
1. This one where Jake’s showing everyone my boogers.
Because my nostrils are fabulous.
2. This pin with a penis putting a condom on itself.
It’s a penis pin! A pinis!
3. Me and my doppelgänger, Charlie.
One day, I woke up looking like Charlie Bucket, so I found a picture online and posed like him. Carly and the Chocolate Factory, you guys!
4. This picture of a little wiener.
From a fancy statue. In Italy. Because I’m classy.
5. This one where I look like the bearded lady x1000.
6. Me posing with a red solo cup after I stepped on glass at a party.
This was pre-stitches.
7. These masterpieces.
I was at work with a friend. And bored. And white-out is fun.
8. Me twerking.
This one actually isn’t embarrassing. I just love this picture and thought it’d been too long since you’ve all seen it.
9. This gallon-sized bag of french fried onions.
GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE TIIIIIME, amiright?
Embarrassing because one of these was my dinner a few nights ago. Apparently I’m channeling my inner Buddy the Elf.
I think it’s time to go through and clean up the iPhone album. Nobody needs 2000 pictures.
But I love them all too much, so I never ever will.
If you have a camera phone, how many photos live in your album?
Do you have any super random pics hanging out in your phone?
S’mores for dinner: yes, yes, or HELL YES?!
Alright. So finals start in less than a week, and I have five of them. DEATH. Not trying to complain (it comes naturally), but I just want to put it out there. I probably won’t be replying to many comments and I doubt I’ll write any profound or eye-opening posts, but I’ll definitely be around this week and next.
Today, I need to share pizza picture with y’all. Because first of all, it’s pizza, which is enough of a reason in and of itself. Second, I spent twelve hours of my day on campus, so I don’t have any other pretty food pics to share. I ate Triscuits and a microwaved s’more for dinner. Totally winning, but not exactly What I Ate Wednesday-worthy.
Because Thanksgivukkah dinner wasn’t decadent enough, my family had pizza night on Saturday. Let’s check out three of the five (FIVE!) pizzas we consumed. Plus a bonus pizza. Just wait.
Prosciutto, bacon, pepperoni, marinated mozzarella, and tons of cheese. Oh, and garlic butter. I love that man.
Zucchini, tomatoes, roasted red peppers, banana peppers, and goat cheese. The GF crust was surprisingly good. But I still prefer flour-filled pizza crust.
This Pie de Heaven was my creation, and I freaking loved it like my own child. And then I ate it. Oops.
This one had olive oil (no sauce), pear slices, gorgonzola cheese, Italian cheese blend, prosciutto, and a lemon-dressed arugula topping. Sorry for the sucky pictures. It gets dark at approximately 3pm.
Friends, if you ever have a piece of leftover dough, stretch it out thin, top it with butter and cinnamon sugar and then fight your family members for the butteriest, cinnamon-sugariest piece.
Yeah, I just created an entire post around pizza I ate three nights ago.
Boom. Nailed it.
Favorite pizza toppings?
If you could create your dream pizza, what would it be?
‘Twas the day of Thanksgivukkah,
And all through the house,
The stomachs were rumbling,
And Carly had a stain on her blouse.
The turkey was basted by Dougie with care,
We all hoped it was ready since our plates were yet bare.
The latkes were nestled all snug in their pan,
And we all had Moscow Mules cooling our hands.
The salad was ready, the rolls were placed out,
It’s almost dinnertime, no need to pout!
Sour cream and applesauce and cranberry galore!
Stop eating appetizers or else you won’t be able to eat any more!
The hummus was snacked on with the carrots so small,
The cookies were ready (and I ate them all)!
Soon the food was devoured, it was all out of sight,
Happy Thanksgivukkah to all, and to all a good bite!
Oh my god. I take almost a week off of blogging, and this is the shit I come back with? I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. I’ll never write another poem again as long as I live.
Please come back.
But not if you’re gonna laugh at me.
What was your favorite Thanksgiving/Hanukkah dish? I love latkes, potatoes, and GRAVY. Gravy is the best part of Thanksgiving by far. My dad uses the turkey drippings, plus red wine and tons of seasonings. Insane.
Wow. I’ve been gone from almost a week.
AND I MISS Y’ALL!! SO DAMN MUCH!
Oh geez. Five days gone and I’m getting all screamy. Sorry guys. I really did miss you tons, but I needed this time away. Time with my family, time with Jake, time with friends. Time with a trough of mashed potatoes. You know. Priorities.
I just waded through my comments and marked all of those stupid comments as spam, because my spam filterer apparently needed a vacation as well. Most of the spam comments were about “premature ejaculation,” “gucci,” and “homemade colon cleanses.”
Those spammers just get me.
Well. It’s Sunday night, I’m still at my parents’ house, and I don’t have my memory card adapter. So that means no Thanksgivukkah recap yet. So sorry. I will leave you with some random iPhone pics, 5 ever randomer thoughts, and a plea for you guys not hate me for abandoning you and then returning with a super lame post.
1. It’s December. WTF?! What? Just what? I have one week of classes, one week of finals, and then Jake and I leave for Costa Rica.
And then it’s Christmas, and then it’s 2014, and then I graduate, and then my existential crisis will go from being “adorably neurotic” to “sista needs to see a shrink.”
2. Why is it that food always tastes better at home? (<< Serious question.)
3. Philosophy can suck my metaphorical balls.
4. But my communications class makes me happy.
5. I love that my family celebrates both Hanukkah AND Christmas. So many fun traditions! So much good food! So many damn decorations to put out!
If you’re a blogger, do you ever feel like you just need a break?
What’s your favorite holiday tradition? If you celebrate Christmas, is your tree up yet?
Remember how I got my mom’s old Kindle? And then I spent an entire week neglecting my responsibilities by reading? Yeah. Still happening. So far, I’ve finished one of the Shopaholic books, and the Hunger Games trilogy. I just started Water for Elephants. Like, literally just started. Like a second ago. NO SPOILERS PLEASE.
Trader Joe’s Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup. Still. So silky and salty sliding down my throat.
Overwhelmed, in every sense of the word. School and work are getting pretty overwhelming, but I’m also feeling overwhelmingly thankful for all of the amazing things I have in my life right now. ’Tis the season, eh?
A fire, a blanket, and a magic term paper writing machine.
Didja hear that, Genie? Those are my three wishes! Grant them, peasant! Grant them now!
(^^ Not saying that to be funny or cute. I’m serious.)
Currently listening to…
Monsters. Over and over and over again. Don’t worry though, I’ll be sick of it in approx. six more days. Also, Counting Stars by OneRepublic and Let Her Go by Passenger. Because apparently all of my favorite songs are radio hits. I’d make the world’s worst hipster ever.
How I Met Your Mother reruns on Netflix. At about 20 minutes apiece, they make the perfect study break.
And Parks & Rec. Always Parks & Rec. I have the biggest crush on Leslie Knope.
Grungy ass clothes. Not even cute/comfy workout stuff. Nope, it’s been sweatshirts and sweats up in hurr. Janky betch.
My favorite phrase lately has been “GET IT!” I’m really quite encouraging. (And/or obnoxious.)
Currently crushing on…
Anything with a freakin’ heartbeat. I haven’t seen Jake in five weeks.
And I’m complaining to anybody who’ll listen.
Are you listening?
What are you currently listening to?
Who/what are you currently crushing on?
Urgh, sorry for ending those sentences with prepositions.
…If the best workout you’ve had lately is shimming your ass into those skinny jeans. That shit’s no joke.
…If you’ve gained three pounds this season, completely from the excess hair on your body that you refuse to shave.
…If your scrapbooking project you started with gusto a year ago still has only six completed pages. Perfection takes time, people.
…If you fall asleep to Netflix reruns most nights, because Ted and Barney and Robin and Lily and Marshall are your friends, and you like having them talk to you sleep.
…If you finally threw out the dying veggies in your crisper drawer, because let’s be honest; you’re never going to cook that now-wilting kale anyway.
…If you have to Google the difference between “laying” and “lying” at least once per week because you keep freaking forgetting.
…If you KEEP buying more shoes, even though you have nowhere to wear another pair of sexy black heels.
…If you pick and pop that zit on your face, until it’s extra disgusting and horrible looking. It is 100% impossible to not pick them. Just dab some toothpaste on that sucker and let it dry out.
…If you like wearing sexy underwear, even if nobody will see ‘em.
…If you like wearing those torn-up granny panties, because they’re comfy as hell, and they make your crotch region feel very comforted.
…If you like wearing no underwear, either because it’s easy, or it’s comfy, or because you’ll have no VPL, or because all of your undies are sitting in your dirty clothes hamper.
…If you’ve neglected your laundry for so long that you have to go commando.
Finish this sentence: ”It’s okay if…”
Believe it or not, I get sick of my own voice sometimes.
All of the people who know me outside of this blog are collectively shaking their heads and snorting disbelievingly right now.
But trust me. Sometimes I just don’t have anything fabulous to say, and I feel like keeping my trap shut. Today is one of those days. This is probably because I’m halfway through a term paper about the evolution of menopause (as in, why it exists), and my brain is clouded with random menopausal facts that threaten to spew out over this blog at any momTHE GRANDMOTHER HYPOTHESIS STATES THAT AGING WOMEN GAIN AN INCLUSIVE FITNESS ADVANTAGE BY INVESTING IN THEIR EXISTING KINSHIP LINE” [INSERT CITATION HERE]ent. Ahem. Any moment. Excuse me.
So let’s just keep this simpIS MENOPAUSE AN ADAPTATION OR AN EPIPHENOMENON?le. Simple. Oh lord.
^^Cream cheese deficient^^
^^Quick & easy ^^
^^ Dang paper ^^
^^ CHIPOTLE ^^
^^ PB & Chocolate ^^
^^ Home ^^
^^ Best snack ^^
Okay, I’d better go befoENCEPHALIZATION OF INFANTS LED TO INCREASED ALTRICIALITY, RESULTING IN SELECTION FOR FEMALE HUMANS WITH LONGER POSTREPRODUCTIVE LIFESPANSre things get weird.
Any thoughts about the evolution of menopause? (<< kidding)
Give me one or two words that describes your weekend.
What’s your fave kind of cheese? Brie is definitely high up on my list.
Everyone, take that giant breath you’ve been holding all week, and exhale. It’s Friday.
This Friday, I’m linking up with Clare’s Five Things Friday Linkup. My mind is all over the place, so we gon’ keep it niiice and easy today, alriiight?
1. I am completely overwhelmed at your support and love after yesterday’s “Baring it All” post. I’d never been so nervous to publish a post, and I woke up crossing my fingers that it would be well-received. You all make my heart swell up real big (<< but in a good way, not a medically-dangerous way). Thanks <3.
2. When writing yesterday’s post, I had to Google when to use “bear” and when to use “bare.” I’m ashamed. (But apparently not too ashamed to post it on the Internet.)
2. I have a 9am midterm Friday morning, which is probably when you’re reading this. It’s 5pm on Thursday night as I write this, and I haven’t studied. I also just agreed to go to the midnight Hunger Games showing with a friend. Can I blame in on senioritis?
3. This will be my first midnight showing of anything. I’m a blast and a half.
4. I was thisclose to publishing a post called “Most of the Things I Say as a Group Fitness Instructor are Sexual Innuendos” until I realized that it was highly inappropriate. Like most of my life.
5. Both my Uggs and my running shoes have holes in the toes. Shit.
1. This bouquet of flowers.
2. And also this bouquet of flowers.
3. Fall outfits. And selfies.
4. Chai tea lattes.
5. My new Kindle (which is really my mom’s old one). And the four books I’ve read on it in a week.
I haven’t been very academically productive the past seven days.
5. Term papers.
You know, in case you want to chat (read: distract me from studying).
4. snacktherapy @ yahoo.com
1. Don’t Feel Sorry That I’ve Gained Weight >> the most relatable post I’ve read all week
2. Addiction >> of the delicious food variety, this one had me drooling
3. Willpower >> and why it’s kind of a bogus word
4. 15 Minute Cheesy Garlic Biscuits >> because they’re 15 minutes cheesy garlic biscuits, you guys!
5. Simple Beef Street Tacos >> takin’ yo tacos to the streets, son
Tell me something making you happy today.
What are your weekend plans?
This post scares me. Really. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. That might be because my instincts are right, and I shouldn’t be posting it. Or maybe it’s because I’m worried about how people will perceive my intentions — trust me, I’m not posting this because I’m fishing for compliments (<< okay, maybe that’s, like, 8% of the reason why). Maybe it’s because I fear that people will judge the way that I look, or because a lot of people from my “real life” read this blog, and it could make things kind of awkward.
Or maybe I’m just a big ol’ puss.
But since you’re reading this, it means I put my fears aside. I decided to bare (almost) all, literally and metaphorically.
I’m gonna share with you all the parts of my body that I LOVE, and that parts that I’m learning to love. With pictures.
Brb my heart just stopped.
Okay, I’m back. Here we go.
I got ‘em from my Great Grandma Szymanski. They’re fantastic.
It may be squishy and dimpled, but it’s BIG (<< which I love on me), and gravity hasn’t worked its cruel magic on it yet, so it remains relatively perky. BUMP IT.
AKA, a fancy way of saying BOOOOOBS (plus collar bones and shoulders.)
I might secretly be a mermaid. Here’s my hair secret: I wash it. Then I let it dry. And it looks all wavy. I’m an artist.
Affectionately called my Polish Birthing Hips, I could probably carry two children on each side. Sure, they sometimes lead to an inevitable muffin top, and they always give away my secrets (because these hips don’t lie, baby), but they give me something to shake around sassily when I need to prove a point.
I’ve gained weight in the past few years, and it bummed me out to see my legs get bigger. I used to be self-conscious since they aren’t super muscular or thin, and a thigh gap is only possible if I drop down to a full center split. But you know what? These legs have carried me through kickboxing classes, dancing on various raised surfaces, and squatting over dirty toilets. What’s not to love about that? Especially the toilet part, because ew.
It’s crooked. And it has this funny ball of cartilage at the end of it. But it looks like my Mama’s, which I love (because isn’t she a beaut?!). Plus, it’s a freaking nose and who even cares about noses anyway?!
Luckily, I’m super lazy, which forced me to get over my aversion to showing my naked face in public, because the eight minutes it takes me to put on makeup is eight minutes I can’t spend reading blogs in bed. I’ve also realized that even though I feel like a different person with and without makeup, the difference really isn’t that drastic.
This is the biggie. This is the body part that has caused me the most stress, the most sadness, the most self-conscious griping. This is the picture that’s the hardest to share, because I don’t have a 6-pack. Or a 4-pack. Or a 2-pack. My stomach is never going to be the watermark for a Pinterest workout. It’s not going to be posted to Instagram as fitspiration. But this stomach holds important organ stuff (<< #science). It’s home to my belly button ring, which I’ve had for five years and absolutely love. One day, this stomach will get all stretch-marky and torpedo-y when a small human sets up camp in my uterus. This is my stomach. It doesn’t look like what magazines and Hollywood and other people tell me it should look like. But it’s mine. And it’s jiggly and curvy and it has extra layers of warmth. And I like it.
And if you don’t, that’s okay. Because it’s mine, beeotches.
I’ve come to realize that the body parts that used to cause me so much stress are so trivial. It’s my BODY. It’s not who I am, it’s what I look like. I do love feeling good about the way that I look, because it makes me more confident in all other areas of my life. But, when it comes down to it, it’s such a silly thing to stress about, and I’m glad I’m able to see that now.
Before I go, I want to challenge you all to think about the things that you love about yourself, and the things that you’re learning to love. If you have a blog, post these things, with or without pictures (since not everyone can be as self-absorbed as I am). Trust me, this was a really cathartic process. I highly recommend it.
P.S. Please don’t judge me for the fact that I have this many pictures of myself just lying around. Actually, you probably should judge me a little bit, because it’s quite ridiculous.
Tell me one thing you love about your body, and one thing you’re learning to love.
Then, tell me one thing you love about yourself (personality-wise), and one thing you’re learning to love. I love that I’m hardworking and independent, and I’m learning to love the fact that I’ll never be a person who thrives in a big friend group. I’d much rather have a handful of really close friends (which sometimes makes me feel like a weirdo) because it makes my relationships feel more fulfilling.