I have one thought that’s been on my mind lately, and it’s kind of a deep one. It’s the kind of thought that makes my stomach and my throat knot up whenever it pops up. And I don’t really like thinking about it all that much because it makes me sad. And frankly, I don’t have time for all of this emotional nonsense. I have midterms to deal with! But, since I can’t get it off my mind, I’m going to unload my emotional woes onto you guys. I won’t go on for too long, so just bear with me.
At what point is it beneficial to let go of a friendship?

My first reaction is to say that when the relationship brings you more negativity than positivity, let go. But that’s easier said than done.
Or maybe when the relationship becomes one-sided with only one person putting the effort in, it’s time to peace out. But then I wonder if that’s just part of the normal ebb and flow of life. Things aren’t always in balance, including relationships. Why should I expect that of someone?
Furthermore, if you decide that it is time to let go, should you treat it like a romantic relationship? Does there have to be a formal break-up?
I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not in a place where I’m ready for the commitment of…uh, a friend.
Nope. That’s weird. So, is it better to just let the relationship fizzle out?
Well, that ain’t gonna work for me either because I’m Type A and neurotic and I hate loose ends.

So what does that leave? Sitting down with someone and having an unnecessarily deep heart-to-heart, which will probably just come off as slightly dramatic? (Oh hell, who am I kidding? I always come off as slightly dramatic.) I mean, I guess that makes some sense, but what if the friend isn’t receptive? What if they feel attacked or annoyed?
These are the thoughts that plague my head all day. It’s exhausting.
[Except that's kind of a lie. Mostly, the thoughts that plague my head all day are shallow and hilarious (to me). Like, could I pull off a peplum dress? Or, who invented silverware? And, quite often, why isn't it Saturday every day? And even, it really isn't fair that the gays get Matt Bomer; Do you think they'd trade me Ryan Gosling for Matt Bomer?]

Maybe it’s better to just go on like everything’s normal, accept that the relationship has changed, and remain cordial but not close.
Well geez. That’s a sad thought! Especially when you have good memories and a tight bond with someone.
I suppose that the best thing to do, at least for me right now, is to focus on the people in my life who make me feel happy and fulfilled.
At some point, I hope to reconnect with long-lost best friends. But, that reconnection will have to wait until both parties are willing and able.

All of the above questions are still TBD because as of right now, I have no good answers to any of them. If you do, please enlighten me! And if not, you sure as hell aren’t alone.
We can all be friendless losers together! Kidding. I do have many friends whom I love and appreciate. So we may not be friendless losers, but we can definitely be regular losers together.

So now I’m flipping this over to you. Have you experienced anything similar? Do you have any answers to my burning questions?
And, as always, if you want to chat, send me an email à carly.goldstein[at]yahoo.com
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