Bangkok: The Last Day

Last day of Bangkok recap (only 6 days late… go me).  HERE WE GO.

I started my day with a walk to Lumphini Park, which seemed to be the Bangkok version of New York’s Central Park.  It was HUGE!

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There were tons of food stands set up at the park.  I opted for the juice stand, where I got a juice with pineapple, pear, carrot, beet, Thai basil, and lime.  It was surprisingly delicious.  I’m usually not a fan of beet juice but I couldn’t really taste it in there.

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After heading back to the hotel and washing off layers upon layers of sweat, I walked around town a bit more.  I seriously felt like I was running out of stuff to do, which is crazy in a huge city like Bangkok!  I think I was just jet-lagged and a little bored of doing everything on my own.  At some point, I stopped into a little cafe so I could use the Wifi, read, and get a cold drink.

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Although it was only a week ago, I’m already forgetting what I did during the day… But let’s just pretend that I did something really cool and exciting and that you’re all really impressed and jealous of me for it, and then skip to dinner.

I had my hotel concierge make a dinner recommendation because I really wanted a nice, sit-down dinner for my last night.  Around 7pm, I headed over to Ruen Urai and ordered a lemongrass rum-type drink, coconut soup, and corn fritters.

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The corn fritters stole the show.  They were so good with that sweet chili sauce!  The coconut soup was also good, but it had dark-meat chicken which I really don’t like.  Overall though, the flavors were tasty and I was stuffed, so I’d say it was a success.

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After dinner, I thought about going out for a drink somewhere, but was just way too freaking exhausted.   Instead, I headed back to my hotel, packed up my things, and got a good night’s sleep before heading to the airport the next morning.

Overall, I really loved Bangkok but 3 full days there was more than enough.  The people there were wonderful, but everything moved so quickly.  I’m definitely loving the more laid-back vibe of Koh Phangan, but more on that soon.

Bangkok: Part Two

Y’all, these recap posts are hard.  I only left Bangkok 3 days ago and I’m already forgetting what pictures go with which day.  All of the Pad Thai must be killing off my brain cells.  Either that or all of the happy hour cocktails.  Not sure which.

I’ve been in Koh Pha Ngan for two nights and it’s lovely.  There are only two other volunteers here with me which is pretty surprising, but luckily they’re both nice!  We visited the school we’ll be working at for the first time today and we start teaching tomorrow… But more on that later.

For now, let’s keep our focus on Bangkok, part 2 (of 3?  4?  I don’t know, stop asking me questions).

I woke up at about 9am on my second day.  Thank goodness, since I didn’t fall  asleep until 3:30ish am the night before.

Right after waking up, I put on my new hippie pants, which I bought for $2 (and which ripped later than day… awesome).  The temples require you to be pretty covered up so anything long and lightweight is ideal in the Thailand humidity.

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My first stop of the day was to Mahboonkrong (MBK) shopping center.  It’s this HUGE, famous mall in Thailand.  It has eight (EIGHT!) floors, all filled with food stalls, restaurants, tech stores, clothing stores, and markets.  Insane.  I was feeling pretty hungover so I went in search of some food.  The random meat balls and whole fish just weren’t doing it for me and I’m actually a little embarrassed to tell you what I ended up eating.  I’ll just whisper it…

(auntie anne’s.  i got an auntie anne’s pretzel.  like a mall pretzel.  please don’t yell at me.) 

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Almost every Starbucks coffee in Bangkok was adjacent to a  “Star Back Coffee.”  Hahahahahahaha.

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To offset the very American pretzel I ate earlier that day, I went in search of some street food after returning from the mall.  I started off with a banana rotee.  It’s this super thin piece of dough stuffed with egg and banana, cooked on a griddle, then topped with sweetened condensed milk and sugar.  I’m not a huge fan of eggs but this was delicious.  Very sweet too — I could only finish half.

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I also got some noodles.  Idk what the sauce was, but it was TASTY!  And check out all of those green onions.  Heavenly.

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I eventually took a taxi over to the Golden Buddha, which happens to be the world’s largest gold statue (according to my concierge and confirmed by trusty Wikipedia).  Like all of the temples, this was beautiful.  An entrance ticket to the temple also gave you access to the museum on site.  The museum focused on the story of the Chinese immigrants (the temple is in Chinatown).

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After seeing the temple, I walked around Chinatown before trying to get a taxi home.  Key word: trying.  It took me SO long to find a cab willing to take me to my hotel.  I was sure I’d be stranded in Chinatown forever.  Close one.

Once I finally did make it home, I went to 7-11 to buy water bottles and obviously couldn’t help buying a few snacks as well.

The Monkey Chips were amazing.  Super thin plantain chips with a delicious, garlicky seasoning on them.  SO GOOD.

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I’m not sure if these sour cream & onion breadsticks are a traditional Thai snack (hahahaha), but DAMN were they good.  My body needed the carbs.

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At around 5pm, I starting debating whether I should venture out for dinner or give in to my jet lag and sleep.  I went with the latter. I ordered lackluster, overpriced room service, ate about 2 bites, and promptly passed out before 7pm.  WAHOO PARTY GIRL!!!

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Worth it though.  I needed the sleep desperately.

Okay, I’ll be back soon with more Bangkok recaps and then to tell you about Koh Pha Ngan and teaching and the beach and other travels.   Oh geez.

xo

Wat’s Happening in Bangkok?

If you’ve been to Thailand or speak Thai, you’ll realize that the title of this post is a (mediocre) pun.  Wat = Temple in Thai.  Get it?  Get it, you guys?!  (Don’t respond to that question. You’ll just encourage me.)

I’m over halfway through my third and final day in Bangkok – I leave for the airport tomorrow morning – and honestly, I’m excited to get settled in Koh Pha Ngan, the island where I’ll be living for the next 6 weeks.  Bangkok has been an amazing experience, but as a lifelong suburbanite, huge cities can be overwhelming, especially since I’m by myself.  After only three days, I’m dying for the serenity and calm of the beach and an island of 11,000 people (versus over 6 million in Bangkok).  I use the words “serenity” and “calm” loosely since Koh Pha Ngan is famous (infamous?) for it’s Full Moon Parties, which attract 50,000+ travelers each month.  Liver, prepare yourself.

Anyway.  I thought I’d recap Bangkok before the beauty of the next destination pushes the details of the city out of my mind.  Full disclosure:  I’ll probably have to write another few Bangkok posts after this one; as long at this post is going to be, it’ll only cover one of the three days.  There’s just so much to write about!

So settle in, my friends.  This is gonna be a long one (that’s what she said).  Also, just because I know it will come up, no, I don’t have a cancerous tumor growing out of my chin.  I was just rocking a truly mind-blowing zit thanks to 17 hours of recirculated airplane air.  Moving on.

I started my first day bright at early (thank you, jet lag) with some temple hopping.  I took a taxi over to a boat port, then took a boat over to some of Bangkok’s most famous temples.

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Not the boat I took. But I took the picture of this boat from the boat I was on. Points for that?

In the insane Bangkok humidity, I couldn’t resist a bag of juicy mango.  This was seriously the most fragrant, floral-y, sweet mango I’ve ever tasted (is there another #twss joke in there? maybe?).

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After that breakfast, I headed to Wat Po, the Temple of the Reclining Buddha.  Buuuut when I tried to buy a ticket I was informed I needed exact change.  I ended up walking around the area until I found a street vendor who would exchange my 1000 baht note for 10 100s (1 US $ = about 31-34 baht, depending on the day).  I was finally able to enter my first temple of the day…

Wat Pho.

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Shoes off & shoulders covered before entering the actual temple!  Also, please take note of my Toms.  It’s almost like I’m a real hippie now, huh?  So cool.

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The reclining Buddha.  He looks so relaxed.  This temple has been around since the late 1700s and was once a school of sorts, teaching traditional Thai medicine, massage, and yoga.

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Selfie game = strong.

Wat Po

How beautiful is the architecture?!

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After Wat Po, I walked 10 minutes and ended up at…

The Grand Palace.

All of the temples were unexpectedly huge, but this one was on another level.  So much to see!  The Grand Palace housed the King of Thailand from the 1700s until the 1920s, and is still used for events.  How would you like having a work meeting here?

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How awesome is that around-the-sun-circle-rainbow-thing?  Super awesome, that’s how.

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Possibly my favorite picture of this temple.  It just looks so fucking FANCY and REGAL.

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I left the Grand Palace drenched in my own sweat and ready to chew my arm off, so I bought a cold water bottle and the most delicious spring rolls from a street vendor.  I know they look really plain and boring and kind of lackluster, but trust me: these were fab.  Less than $1 for four and drenched in a sweet Thai chili sauce… Gimmie gimmie.

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I eventually made my way over to another ferry station so I could go see my last temple of the day…

Wat Arun.

AKA The Temple of Dawn, another Buddhist temple.  It really was beautiful.  I hiked up the steepest steps EVER (<< maybe) to get to the top and was rewarded with a spectacular view of the river.

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At Wat Arun, I met some other travelers who let me tag along with them for the rest of the day/night.  It was fantastic to have other English-speakers to hang out with.  After Wat Arun, we took a couple tuk-tuks to an air conditioned restaurant and had drinks.

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After taking another tuk-tuk home, we all reconvened at their hostel later that day for some Indian food.

The hummus was good, the naan was amazing, the samosas were to die for, the sauces were fabulous, but my entree (vegetable biryani) was lackluster.  Though I was so full by the time entrees came out that I really didn’t care too much.

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After dinner, we had more drinks and headed over to Khoasan Road, the backpacker’s district, which is filled with tons of foreigners, music, bars, and huge buckets of booze.  Yes.  Huge.  Buckets.  Of booze.   (Thursday morning’s hangover is starting to make a lot of sense).

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After Khaosan, we explored the Red Light District, which was both horrifying and enthralling.  I won’t go into deets.  Trust me, it’s for everyone’s good.

I made it back to my hotel after 2am and proceeded to pass the fuck out.  (And then wake up for the day 4 hours later.  Again, thank you jet lag.)

So there is day 1 of my Thailand adventure.  Ten points if you read through the whole thing (unless you’re my mother or father, because in that case it is your job to care about everything I do).

Talk soon!

IN THE COMMENTS:

Ever been to a temple?  Where?  Which one?

Ever had a bucket of booze?  How’d ya feel the next day? 

Living in the Now

I made it! I made it through twenty-nine hours of travel. I made it through figuring out how to use my phone internationally. I made it through the car ride and the flights and the standing escalator thingies and a cab ride.

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I made it all the way to my hotel in Bangkok.   It’s 1:38am (14 hours ahead of California time) as I write this, and I’ve slept about 4 hours in the past 30.   I didn’t pay to get wifi in my room so I probably won’t post this until tomorrow morning (my tomorrow morning; this time zone business is gonna get confusing), but I just wanted to pop in an say hi.

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So far, everyone I’ve encountered has been incredibly helpful. Granted, the only people I’ve met so far are the cab driver and the people at my hotel, but still. I’ll take it. On the drive from the airport to my hotel, I had my cab driver teach me how to say a few key phrases in Thai. I have down “hi” (sa wad dee ka), “thank you” (kob khun ka), “my name is…” (chan-chue), and “how are you?” (khun-sa-bai-dee-mai-ka). I should probably try to learn more practical phrases like “where’s the bathroom?”, “how much?”, and “feed me now,” but oh well. I have an app for that.

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Honestly, this whole experience is still feeling completely surreal. You’d think actually being in Thailand would make my trip to Thailand feel real, but nope… Not yet. I’m definitely missing home like crazy and it’s overwhelming to think that I’ll be gone for 7 weeks. But at San Francisco airport yesterday, I decided to focus on the immediate. If I had thought about being gone for close to two months, I probably would have lost it in the airport and been put on some kind of No Fly List (i.e., don’t let this crazy bitch on a plane). Instead, I had to focus on getting through security. Then getting to my gate. Then getting to Tokyo, and then to Bangkok, and then to my hotel.   Tomorrow, I’m going to focus on eating good food and seeing some temples. The day after that? No fucking clue. I’m focusing on The Now, simply because it’s way more manageable and will help me prevent a psychological breakdown. Always a good thing.

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A nice Buddha quote seemed appropriate, on account of the whole being in Thailand thing

Taking things a day (or an hour) at a time is a good lesson for life. It’s crazy to try to figure out everything. It’s impossible to look at your life and know where you’ll be a year from now, or five years, or ten. Rather, I just need to focus on living NOW… Not a week from now, not a month from now, not a year from now.  Just now.

Alright, I’m off to go sleep.  Talk soon!

To Thailand

Hey everyone.   It’s almost 11pm on Sunday night right now, which means I have approximately eight hours until I leave my house to embark on my journey to Thailand.  I’m nervous (did I pack everything I need?  will I be able to find a cab to my hotel once I land?  what if I’m sitting next to a weirdo on the plane? and sad (I don’t wanna leave everyone!), but mostly excited (OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG).  I’ll hopefully be blogging a few times per week, but I’m not sure how often I’ll have access to WiFi, so we’ll see.

My travel schedule tomorrow looks a little like this:

Leave my house at 6:30am.  Drive the 3 hours (rush hour, ugh) to San Francisco Airport.

Fly from San Francisco to Tokyo.  10.5 hours.

4 hour layover.

Fly from Tokyo to Bangkok.  6.5 hours.  Land at 11pm Bangkok time on July 22nd. 

Get a cab to the hotel (<< nervous about taking a cab, alone, late at night, in a new city…) and pass the fuck out.

I don’t have much else to say tonight and I should probably try to get some sleep (lol yeah right)… Please send me good travel vibes.  I’ll miss you all!  Next time we talk, I’ll probably be in Thailand (!!!).

Bye for now… <3.

P.S. Follow me on Instagram for airport/travel updates!

The Scale

Let’s talk about the scale.

WAIT NO DON’T LEAVE!  COME BACK!  COME BACK!  I promise you’ll want to stick around for this discussion (okay, I can’t actually promise that.  But still, you should stay.)

We all know how much the scale sucks.  It lies!  It doesn’t measure beauty or brains or compassion or general bootyliciousness!  Don’t listen to it!  Throw it away!  Kill it with fire!

But here’s the thing: the scale doesn’t lie.  The scale is just a thing.

We’re the ones who lie.  We’re the ones who convince ourselves that life will be better once the scale shows us a smaller number.  We’re the ones who long for the time when we were “soo much skinnier” than we are now.  We’re the ones who obsessively search BMIs and celebrities’ weights, trying to compare our bodies to somebody else’s.  We’re the ones who give the scale power…Power that it shouldn’t have.

And in the process of giving the scale power, we’re taking that power away from ourselves.  That is simultaneously immensely comforting and insanely terrifying.  It’s comforting because life is crazy and scary and complicated; if we can pin our woes on a number on the scale, it takes some of the responsibility off of us.  On the other hand, it’s terrifying because we’re giving power (of our moods, our happiness, our self-worth) to an inanimate object.  (And not even a cool, high-tech inanimate object, like an iPhone.)  It’s dumb.  Real dumb.

A couple weeks ago, I put on a bathing suit to go lay out by the pool (and then got really sunburned).  It was the same bathing suit I had worn in Hawaii a few years back.  I remember seeing the pictures from that trip and feeling huge.  I remember weighing myself during that trip and seeing my highest number ever.  I remember being devastated.

So a took a picture of my present-day self (which is now my 3-weeks-ago self) and put ‘em side-by-side.

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Here were my initial thoughts about these two pictures:

- I weighed 20+ pounds less in the left picture.

- I felt insanely self-conscious in the left picture.  Much less so in the right picture.

- I miss that tan.

- I miss Hawaii.

- I think my body looks fine (great…hot) in both pictures.

- I think I look more or less the same in both pictures, despite over 3 years and 20-someodd pounds of difference.

Now here’s the important stuff:

In the time span between these photographs…

I started college.

I maintained my relationship for another 3 years, for a total of 5.5.

I fell in love with so many wonderful, beautiful friends.

I traveled to Italy and Costa Rica, and ate an unbelievable amount of gelato and drank and unbelievable amount of frozen rum drinks, respectively.

I probably ate the equivalent of 22 wheels of Brie.

I definitely ate at least 30 pizzas.

I gained weight.  I lost weight.  I maintained weight.  I gained more weight (see above).  I was okay with it.  I am okay with it.

I fell into the kale fad and drank lots of green smoothies.

I got an iPhone.

I started a blog and met a whole lot of wonderful people.

I sweated a lot.  30% of the time it was because of a workout.  70% of the time was because I’m a sweaty human and it’s hot (#globalwarming).

I graduated college.

I started the daunting process of figuring out what I want to do and who I want to become.

I watched waaay too much Netflix.

I cried and laughed and snorted.

I learned a little about a lot.

I found passions and lost friends.

I loved and I hated.

How beautiful is all of that?!  

Yes, in 3 years I gained the equivalent of a fairly chubby house cat, but I also did a lot and learned a lot and saw some amazing things.  My life is so much more than a number on the scale.  I refuse to give the scale the power to take away the magic of three years.  I refuse to look that those two pictures and see “20+ pound gain.”  I want to look at those pictures and see how much happier and more fulfilled I am today.  I want to appreciate how much I’ve grown (metaphorically, hah).  I refuse to allow the number on the scale to make me forget all of the important things that have transpired between those pictures.

The scale only has power if you give it power.

Don’t.

Life Lately

Hey everyone.  It’s been a while since I’ve stopped by for catch-up post and I feel like it’s about time.

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(So many sunset pics.  Sorry in advance.)

First, I kind of want to talk about my involvement in the “blog world.”  I’ve been posting a whole lot less, commenting on approximately zero blogs per week, and replying to comments as the pace of a snail driving my 2002 Nissan that desperately needs oil and shakes when I drive too fast (read: very slowly).  As always, I want you all to know that I read every single comment and they make me really happy.  Honestly, pulling away from the blog world has been good for me, simply because it took up an insane amount of time, but I do miss being a part of this little community.  I’m still here, even if you don’t see me.  I’m like Santa.  Or a stalker.  (<< Is there really a difference between the two?)

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Now let’s talk about my next three weeks.  Technically 19 days, but whatever.  Okay, so it’s July 3rd.   As you’re reading this, I’m probably moving out of my apartment in Davis due to the whole graduation/moving back home to be a stay-at-home-daughter thing.  On July 10th, I take the GRE, which is the standardized test for graduate school (more on this later… I’m still figuring it out). I’ve been studying like crazy.  It’s fun (as in not).  Then on July 12, I’m heading down to L.A. for a few days to see Jake because on July 21st, I leave for Thailand!  For seven weeks!  As in I won’t be home until September 8th!!  Shiiit.  In a span of less than three weeks, I need to move out of my apartment, move back into my old room, finish studying for the GRE, take the GRE, go see Jake, say bye for now to all of my friends, pack for Thailand, and be ready to leave.

I need a nap.

Just kidding.  I’m on summer vacation so what I really need is to stop whining.

Honestly, I’m really excited to get the GRE over with, see Jake, and spend seven weeks on a beautiful tropical island.  In fact, it’s all fucking amazing.  I’m planning on posting 2-3 times per week while in Thailand, partly because I’ll miss all of you and partly because it’ll act as my journal to look back on.  We’ll see if I can figure out the WiFi sitch over there before I make any promises, though.

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My mental state lately ranges from “calm and content” to “existential criss, you need help.”  I’m okay with it.  Every stressful confusing day gives way to one where things start to work themselves out.  Life is good.

Other than that I’ve just been gettin’ my tan on, swimming, reading, eating home-cooked meals, and spending time with people I love.   Not bad.  Not bad at all.

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A Little Rant

Same-sex marriage. Let’s talk about it.

I’ve heard every dumb argument (sorry) opposing. I’ve heard every good and bad argument in favor:

  • It isn’t a choice!
  • Evidence shows that sexuality is biologically based!
  • Everyone should have the legal benefits of marriage!
  • There are so many kids who need to be adopted - same-sex parents could provide a loving home to those kids!
  • It won’t affect your life at all!

Wait… Hold on… Let me say that one again… It won’t affect your life at all.

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It’s a pretty common argument in favor of same-sex marriage. I’ve heard it a lot and I’ve probably said it before: “It has no influence on your life whatsoever. If same sex marriage is legalized, how will it change the way you choose to live? It won’t!”

But here’s the thing: It should. I hope it does. 

I hope that the legalization of same-sex marriage will make you more understanding and open-hearted.

I hope it will make future generations more loving – I want those kids to look back and think, “WHAT?! People weren’t allowed to marry whom (<< the leaders of tomorrow have great grammar) they wanted to marry? WHAT?! You all were dumbasses…”

I hope it makes you a little bit prouder of this country and its government.

I want it to bring more love into our communities. I want you to feel more love and see more love (was gonna say taste more love but it felt inappropriate).

It should change the issues we focus on. Why, in 2014, are we still fighting over issues of equality?! People are people, for fuck’s sake. Let’s make it official and move on to bigger and more important things like mental health or poverty or equitable education.

When (not “if”) marriage is legal all over the country for any two consenting adults, regardless of sex or sexuality, I hope your life is different.  I hope it has an impact on your life.  I hope it affects you.

Really truly, I do.

So there.

Stupid Weight Loss Tips

Tip #1:

Cut up carrots and celery and keep them in your fridge.  Easy access = better choices.

Trust me: a Tupperware filled with veggies isn’t that appealing, even if it is grab-and-go.  The fact that you have bitter green sticks of death sitting in your fridge doesn’t make that (entire) block of sharp cheddar any less appealing.

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Tip #2:

Don’t eat after x O’clock. 

But what if I get hungry?  I’m just supposed to go to bed with an empty stomach, then wake up ravenous and eat 4 slices of leftover pizza (<< lol, leftover pizza… what’s that?) for breakfast because I was so hungry I literally couldn’t think straight enough to make a normal breakfast?  Not that pizza for breakfast is a bad thing, but still…

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Tip #3:

Don’t keep any junk food in your house! 

I kind of get this, but a) you can overeat “healthy” things too and b) god forbid I start PMSing and all I have to eat is stupid pre-cut vegetables. Seriously, for the sake of those around me, god forbid.

Tip #4:

Don’t order salads at restaurants, they have omg soo many calories.  

Yeah well guess what?  I bet the burger, the pizza (or “baked flatbread”, if you’re somewhere fancy) and French fries do too.  Order whatever the hell sounds good, even if that’s a salad with creamy (read: delicious) dressing on top of it.  Eat until you’re full.  Or hell, eat the whole damn thing and then dessert.  Whatever.

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Tip #5:

Park at the back of the parking lot and take the stairs. 

This is a really nice idea in theory, but most people are freaking busy and are constantly running from place to place.  Who has time to park as far away as possible and then mosey on in?  Instead, find something active you enjoy, and then do it.  Imagine that.

Tip #6:

Drink water.

Drinking water is important and wonderful.  But I used to mask my hunger by chugging water bottles until I felt sick, which isn’t wonderful.  Don’t do that.

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Tip #7:

Chew gum.

Ugh, don’t chew gum so you can trick yourself into thinking you’re eating. The only time you’re allowed to use gum to replace meal is if it’s Willy Wonka meal gum, although if you remember how Violet Beauregard ended up, you’ll know that that’s probably a really ineffective way to slim down. (“Violet!  You’re turning violet, Violet!)

IN THE COMMENTS:

Which common weight loss tips drive you the most crazy?  

Things I’ve Learned

Saying “I’m sorry” is incredibly hard. Even if you do manage to get those two words out, it’s even harder to stop yourself from adding on the “…but you were being an asshole” justification. Fight the urge, friends. Fight it.

The generic brand tastes exactly the same 85% of the time. The other 15% of the time includes Oreos, sugary cereal, and ice cream.   And yes, I’m sort of inadvertently implying that 15% of my diet consists of Oreos, sugary cereal, and ice cream.

Forgiveness is easy when someone else did something wrong. Forgiveness is hard when you did something wrong and someone called you out on your shit.

Serving sizes are bullshit, especially when it comes to tortilla chips. Who the hell stops at 8 tortilla chips?!

Kale > spinach

Muddy buddies > almost anything else in life

Cheese > literally anything else in life

Sometimes, other people are gonna do shitty things to you. That’s okay. Forgive them and move on.

Sometimes, you’re gonna do shitty things to other people. That’s okay. Apologize and move on.

Your mom always knows how to do everything. And even if she doesn’t, she still kind of does. SORCERY!

You can’t get everything from one person or one relationship. That’s why we have significant others AND friends AND family AND the delivery guy from Dominos.

The really bad moods will pass. They’ll also come back eventually. Roll with it.

Bragging and competing only makes you look petty.

Just because you wear a size “large” doesn’t mean you look large. You probably look hot.

Baby doll shirts are really bad if you have huge boobs. Really bad. Unless you’re going for the maternity look, in which case they’re totally perfect.

Choose friends whom you admire.   And friends who make you laugh until you just about piss yourself.  Or until you actually piss yourself.

Exit out of iMessage on your computer before asking a professor to look over a word document. Because it’s likely (if your friends are anything like mine) that you’ll receive a highly inappropriate text message that’ll pop up on your laptop screen.

Carefully check the “send to” box before you send an angry text/email.

Snapchat is the most delightful timesuck.

Candy bars are very meh.

Frozen candy bars are heaven.

Waking up early enough to see the sunrise is really nice, but staying up late enough to see the sunrise is way better.

Gurls rule boys drool. Just kidding. I drool a lot, mostly when I’m sleeping.

Always have eyedrops and Chapstick and a tampon and a snack on hand.  You’ll never want for nothin’.

Things tend work themselves out.

At least 32% of the fun of a vacation is planning it.

People are never as put together as they seem on social media, but they’re usually a whole lot more wonderful and hilarious in person.

You can’t keep in touch with every amazing person you meet. Some people are just meant to be in and out… of your LIFE, you perv.

A “small square of dark chocolate” at the end of the day isn’t a “splurge.” It’s a small square of dark chocolate for fuck’s sake.

Treat others as you’d like to be treated.

Treat yourself as you’d treat your best friend.

Vegetables don’t taste like pasta, even if they’re “spiralized.”

Given the choice of being kind or being right, choose kindness.

It’s really hard to practice what you preach (see above).

Cleanliness is next to SHUT THE HELL UP IT’S MY ROOM AND I’LL CLEAN IT WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT.

Fancy, inky, smooth pens are the best.

Sporks work at adequate spoons and really shitty forks.

Things taste better through a straw.

Things taste better when eaten with chopsticks.

The word “diet” sucks unless it’s followed by the word Snapple.  Not sorry.

Geography is hard.

Math is hard.

[Insert #twss joke about hard penises]

Real therapy is great.  But snack therapy tastes better.

You do you, boo boo.

“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” –Cynthia Nelms

If you’re thinking something nice about someone, say it.

If you’re thinking something shitty about someone, bite your damn tongue.  It isn’t worth the hassle.

Travel.  All over.

Life is much more manageable after a good night’s sleep.

Do what you love.  Love what (and whom…) you do.

The end (for now).

IN THE COMMENTS:

What have you learned?  Your favorite life lesson?  Add to the list!

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