I never know where to begin with these trip recaps. On one hand, I’m always so exhausted after a vacation that I just want to dump all of the pictures into a wordless blog post. On another hand, I want to recap the entire thing in excruciating detail so I remember it all forever. On a third hand (we’re using your hands by this point), I want to not feel the need to preserve everything on social media and let the memories be just that — memories. On yet another hand, I feel like nobody is even reading this stupid paragraph anymore. Hello? Hellloooooo??
Anyway. New Orleans.
It was a truly incredible city with the nicest people I’ve ever met. And I’ve been to the Land of Smiles, you guys, so you know it’s legit (10 points for that “I’m so well-traveled” humblebrag).
So I arrived in New Orleans at about 6am, a day later than the rest of my friends (#fomo) and promptly lugged my overpacked suitcase up to the hotel room and passed out for another 3 hours or so. Once we all woke up, we decided to start the day at Cafe Du Monde.
Holy beignet, these were fucking awesome. They were hot and sexy (and single and IN YOUR AREA, CALL NOW) down to every last crumb. We started with one order and our waitress looked 10% amused 90% annoyed when we ordered a second. They definitely lived up to the hype.
I literally licked the plates clean. I had to resist doing the same to the other tables’ plates as well.
With our veins pumped full of deep-fried carbs and sugar, we felt ready to shop (and eat more). Obviously. We strolled through the French Market, and showed valiant restraint and didn’t purchase anything, much to the happiness of our savings accounts. LOL JK WE COLLECTIVELY BOUGHT SO MUCH SHIT (between the four of us, there was one giant fan, 2 random T-shirts, a couple bottle openers, and many more useless souvenirs).
Oh, and we also ate an alligator sausage. I realize how dirty that sounds.
Thank goodness we had that protein-packed ‘gator on a stick to fuel us for the next 30 or so minutes before we were able to eat again! We walked around the city, which is ridiculously quaint. I kept comparing it to New Orleans Square in Disneyland, which is obviously a really stupid comparison, because the latter is based on the former, but still. It’s just really freakin’ cute.
After listening to some street music and walking into lots of random shops, we eventually headed back to the hotel to get ready for dinner.
We went to an incredible oyster bar called Royal House, but since I don’t really like seafood, I stuck with hushpuppies, French onion soup, and dessert. I did, however, consider shooting up the garlic butter sauce that covered the oysters (but settled for bread instead of a hypodermic needle).
After dinner, we went out on Frenchmen Street (sounds promising, no?) and listened to (/embarrassingly danced to) live music.
And also took the most expensive pedicab ride home, probably ever. Mostly because silly New Orleans doesn’t have Uber. WTF, Nola?! Get it together. (I decided to forgive the city though, on account of its abundance of fried food).
The next morning, we were up bright and early, hopped on a bus with Josephina, our hilarious driver, and made our way to the Honey Island Swamp. We saw alligators and snakes and raccoons, but the most exciting part by far was the wild hogs. THEY CLIMBED ONTO THE BOAT and we all had a blast together.
After Le Tour De Swamp, we ate some more. Are you really surprised?
I only took a picture of the banana pudding, which was unreal, but we also had cheese fries and grilled cheese and po’ boys and fried pickles. Oh, lordy.
Post-lunch, we switched hotels and decided to have a low-key night. We got some dinner at a supposedly haunted restaurant (shoutout to Marianna and Maria Theresa, the sister ghosts) and relaxed back in the hotel room. It was much needed.
The next morning, we woke up refreshed, energized, and ready to stuff ourselves with more fried food and booze. Enter: Elizabeth’s.
This place was awesome. So good, in fact, that Jamie Lee Curtis was there for breakfast as well. We were too into our praline bacon to notice, but apparently she was there through part of our meal. I’m just relieved that I’ll have something to talk about when I meet JLC one day.
That evening, we headed to Pat O’Brien’s piano bar for Hurricanes and music. The music was great and the Hurricanes were dangerous.
After we all sucked down our drinks, we did it up big with some cajun classics for dinner. There were lots of bites shared, and I ended up eating some French onion soup, a few bites of the muffuletta sandwich, and red beans & rice with alligator sausage. It was all delicious.
After dinner, we headed out to Bourbon Street. It was a crazy fun night, filled with too-sugary drinks, tons of dancing, and hilarious people (namely us).
No pictures from really late in the night (ahem, early in the morning), because drunk.
After a solid three hours of sleep, we packed up, got breakfast, bid adieu to New Orleans and headed for Nashville, Tennessee. Update coming soon (ish).